Author Topic: Issue 3 - Ninja Power! - Page 17 - Meadow McCarthy  (Read 8602 times)

Adam Dravian

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Issue 3 - Ninja Power! - Page 17 - Meadow McCarthy
« on: March 26, 2016, 11:06:37 PM »


Writing a comic is a lot harder than I thought it’d be. With every word you use, you’re covering up more of the art, so words come at a premium. If this were a novel, I could write a natural conversation between Eddie and Alex, weaving in important bits of exposition here and there while adding some depth to the characters and the relationship they have.

But that’s tricky in a comic. I need to accomplish a lot in as few words as possible, leaving Jessica’s art to fill in the blanks. It’s definitely taken me a bit to get used to.

Rijst

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Re: Issue 3 - Ninja Power! - Page 17 - Meadow McCarthy
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2016, 05:31:22 AM »
You know I never actually thought about these things. Does Jessica ever turn around and say "hey Adam, enough with the prose already! I want some room to draw Eddie doing a van Damme split.."? Or the other way around perhaps where you decide there's room left for more text?
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Adam Dravian

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Re: Issue 3 - Ninja Power! - Page 17 - Meadow McCarthy
« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2016, 05:44:36 AM »
You know I never actually thought about these things. Does Jessica ever turn around and say "hey Adam, enough with the prose already! I want some room to draw Eddie doing a van Damme split.."? Or the other way around perhaps where you decide there's room left for more text?

A lot of the conversations I've written end up getting whittled down once Jessica starts sketching the page. Usually, the first thing she does is import the dialogue and arranges it all, trying to figure out how many panels the page will require. Sometimes she asks me to trim the dialogue down, and others times she does it herself and has me approve it.

I'm not nearly as verbose as I was when we first started doing this comic. For instance, the scene early on in Issue 1 where Eddie talks with his friends in the arcade was originally wordy enough to fill up about five or six pages, but we ended up scaling it down to fit into two.

On the flip side, there have been times where I'll see some empty space on the page and think up some extra dialogue that could fit there, but usually by that point Jessica's so sick of working on that particular page that she blows off my suggestion.
« Last Edit: March 27, 2016, 10:45:10 PM by Adam Dravian »

Jake (Not the Snake)

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Re: Issue 3 - Ninja Power! - Page 17 - Meadow McCarthy
« Reply #3 on: March 28, 2016, 07:04:56 AM »
Adam how do you decide what to keep and what to cut? I suffer from occasional verbosity myself and I'm always looking for perspective.

Also what is Eddie swinging? Materialized nunchaku?
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Red

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Re: Issue 3 - Ninja Power! - Page 17 - Meadow McCarthy
« Reply #4 on: March 28, 2016, 12:44:54 PM »
Will Eddie's real parents ever turn up?

Adam Dravian

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Re: Issue 3 - Ninja Power! - Page 17 - Meadow McCarthy
« Reply #5 on: March 28, 2016, 06:19:40 PM »
Adam how do you decide what to keep and what to cut? I suffer from occasional verbosity myself and I'm always looking for perspective.

I re-read the script while checking to make sure every sentence serves some sort of purpose, whether it's to advance the story, reveal some bit of exposition, add depth to a character or the character's relationship to someone else, set up or tell a joke, foreshadow some future events, ect. If not, then it gets cut. At the same time, I try to think of ways that the sentences could be truncated, but still convey everything without being too awkward. And Jessica goes over it all as well, and she has a very critical eye.

To give an example, here are some cut lines of dialogue from the page where Corey and Trance are trying to get a hold of their friends who never showed up to play C&C. This exchange occurs right after Carmen says "No comprendo." and leaves the room. I've bolded the stuff that was cut.

[Corey has picked up the dining room phone and is dialing a number.]
 
COREY: Trance, just between us, I think Carmen might be dumb. I mean, you’d think she’d have a better grasp of English by now. Hell, you don’t even have an accent.
 
TRANCE: I was born here, Corey.

 
COREY (into the phone): Hi, Mrs. Feldman! Is Joe there?

We cut that out because the page was getting too wordy, and I felt the "I was born here, Corey" joke seemed too unoriginal, like something I've seen in sitcoms before. The cut dialog does convey some new information to the reader, like the fact that Trance doesn't speak with an accent and that he was born in the US, but that's not necessary information and so it's not worth the space those words would have taken up.

On that same page, there was some cut dialogue between Veronica and Heather (again, I bolded the cut content):

HEATHER: Can you believe Tina’s going to the prom with Joe Feldman? Like, last year, he was totally geek, but I guess now he’s kind of chic. He was invited to Connor’s party, after all.

VERONICA: Fer-sure, but even dating an ex-nerd is going to cost Tina some major popularity points. I think I’d die first.

We cut Heather's line because the reader can infer what the girls are talking about from Veronica's response. That also helped it to feel more like we're dropping in on the middle of a conversation.

Quote
Also what is Eddie swinging? Materialized nunchaku?

Yep. Jessica said she's going to update the page eventually to move one of the word balloons in the second to last panel so you can see the weapon better.
« Last Edit: March 28, 2016, 07:50:56 PM by Adam Dravian »

Adam Dravian

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Re: Issue 3 - Ninja Power! - Page 17 - Meadow McCarthy
« Reply #6 on: March 28, 2016, 06:33:46 PM »
Will Eddie's real parents ever turn up?

First off, welcome to the forum, Red! Jessica and I always get fuckin' pumped when a new member signs up.

As for your question ... hmmm, how should I word this? Oh, I'll resort to an X-files quote: "The truth is out there." Some mysteries in the comic might never explicitly be spelled out, but we'll at least give some hints for those who are interested in digging for them.

Rijst

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Re: Issue 3 - Ninja Power! - Page 17 - Meadow McCarthy
« Reply #7 on: March 29, 2016, 03:13:46 PM »
Adam how do you decide what to keep and what to cut? I suffer from occasional verbosity myself and I'm always looking for perspective.

I re-read the script while

...
...
 
line because the reader can infer what the girls are talking about from Veronica's response. That also helped it to feel more like we're dropping in on the middle of a conversation.

This could've been a blog post!
Quote from: "The Boy" (Bad-Ass Ninjas)
I read on the internet that ninjas are hungry, you want some food?

Adam Dravian

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Re: Issue 3 - Ninja Power! - Page 17 - Meadow McCarthy
« Reply #8 on: March 30, 2016, 05:57:38 AM »
Adam how do you decide what to keep and what to cut? I suffer from occasional verbosity myself and I'm always looking for perspective.

I re-read the script while

...
...
 
line because the reader can infer what the girls are talking about from Veronica's response. That also helped it to feel more like we're dropping in on the middle of a conversation.

This could've been a blog post!

Shit, you're right. But I've already stated my next blog post will conclude my behind the scenes look at the live-action promo videos. The reason I haven't posted that yet is because of all the time it takes to edit together the behind the scenes footage we shot. Plus, we've got some awesome SN8X stuff coming up soon that's been keeping me occupied.

Rijst

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Re: Issue 3 - Ninja Power! - Page 17 - Meadow McCarthy
« Reply #9 on: March 30, 2016, 07:40:10 AM »
Adam how do you decide what to keep and what to cut? I suffer from occasional verbosity myself and I'm always looking for perspective.

I re-read the script while

...
...
 
line because the reader can infer what the girls are talking about from Veronica's response. That also helped it to feel more like we're dropping in on the middle of a conversation.

This could've been a blog post!

Shit, you're right. But I've already stated my next blog post will conclude my behind the scenes look at the live-action promo videos. The reason I haven't posted that yet is because of all the time it takes to edit together the behind the scenes footage we shot. Plus, we've got some awesome SN8X stuff coming up soon that's been keeping me occupied.

Good stuff coming up then. I like your writing style, witty and clear. Your movie reviews had me cracking up more than a few times!
Quote from: "The Boy" (Bad-Ass Ninjas)
I read on the internet that ninjas are hungry, you want some food?

Adam Dravian

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Re: Issue 3 - Ninja Power! - Page 17 - Meadow McCarthy
« Reply #10 on: March 31, 2016, 12:24:45 AM »
Good stuff coming up then. I like your writing style, witty and clear. Your movie reviews had me cracking up more than a few times!

I write 'em just for you, Science Dude!

Actually, that's not far from the truth. My blog posts don't tend to get many views, compared to the rest of the site, which is one of the reasons I've started doing them so infrequently. But no worries. More will be coming. I'm too egocentric to not force my words onto the world.

Rijst

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Re: Issue 3 - Ninja Power! - Page 17 - Meadow McCarthy
« Reply #11 on: March 31, 2016, 03:04:43 PM »
Adam "the disseminator" Dravian..  8)
Quote from: "The Boy" (Bad-Ass Ninjas)
I read on the internet that ninjas are hungry, you want some food?