News Update & He-Man Commercials

[Adam Dravian]

Read it here!

[Rijst]

That Dragon Walker looks rubbish haha! I can only imagine you projecting your voice through the house with that Snake Mountain thing, driving your parents up the wall with maniacal laughter..

It's a good thing everyone's name consists of two syllables otherwise that drum-chant in the background wouldn't work..

[Rijst]

I'll have to watch these cartoons now, I missed most of them in the eighties..

[Adam Dravian]

That Dragon Walker looks rubbish haha! I can only imagine you projecting your voice through the house with that Snake Mountain thing, driving your parents up the wall with maniacal laughter..

I actually totally forgot about that microphone thing until I saw that commercial again. It didn't exactly amplify the voice as much as distort it a little.

It's a good thing everyone's name consists of two syllables otherwise that drum-chant in the background wouldn't work..

Haha, I hadn't even thought of that. The marketing dude must have been super proud of that gimmick and demanded all toys follow the two-syllable rule so they could reuse it over and over...

I'll have to watch these cartoons now, I missed most of them in the eighties..

US cartoons in the early to-mid eighties tended to have some pretty terrible animation, and He-Man was one of the worst offenders. It's like they had maybe a dozen different animations of He-Man and just keep reusing them over and over.

It's weird. I loved those cartoons when I was really little. Then I re-watched some episodes as a teenager, and I hated them because of how much they sucked. Now, I watch them as an adult, and I love them specifically because of how much they suck.

[Michigander1911]

While I rarely had a chance to watch He-Man I did have the Greyskull Castle.  I got that and a bunch of X-Men action figures as hand me down toys from my cousin.  The 80s and early 90s really changed advertising for kids. I rarely remember seeing a toy on tv that I didn't have to have.  Though rarely actually got.

[Rijst]

US cartoons in the early to-mid eighties tended to have some pretty terrible animation, and He-Man was one of the worst offenders. It's like they had maybe a dozen different animations of He-Man and just keep reusing them over and over.

It's weird. I loved those cartoons when I was really little. Then I re-watched some episodes as a teenager, and I hated them because of how much they sucked. Now, I watch them as an adult, and I love them specifically because of how much they suck.

I watched the old GI Joe cartoons a few years back (the ones I could find on youtube) and was hugely entertained by the randomness of events, the ridiculous machines and weapons and terrible plot lines. The suckiness is probably the best part about these cartoons but I guess you need a certain perspective to enjoy it..

[Adam Dravian]

While I rarely had a chance to watch He-Man I did have the Greyskull Castle.  I got that and a bunch of X-Men action figures as hand me down toys from my cousin.

That reminds me that I never had a full set of action figures for a single brand. For instance, I had a few He-Man villains, but none of the main good guys, so I couldn't exactly act out a He-Man adventure. And I had maybe two of the ninja turtles, plus a couple of their villains. Which meant any Ninja Turtle plot I played out had to center around my two turtles on an unending quest to find their brothers. The really shitty thing is that it became impossible to find a "default" ninja turtle at any of the local stores. Instead, all I could find where those stupid gimmicky versions of the turtles like, Punk Rock Donatello, Cross Dresser Leonardo, or whatever. So If I wanted to finally get Rapeheal, I'd have to settle for some bullshit like, "Slam Dunk Raphael", and my plotlines would then be forced to revolve around Rapheal's unyielding desire to constantly play basketball. Fuck whatever marketing dude came up with those gimmicks.

So I was basically forced to utilize all my motley crew of toys into one crazy shared universe, where Optimist Prime and Hulk Hogan would team up to save my medieval Lego castle from the terror of Skeletor, Destro, and their army of Battle Beasts and MUSCLE figures. But I suppose that was as precursor to the kind of '80s hodgepodge I ended up doing with the comic.

I watched the old GI Joe cartoons a few years back (the ones I could find on youtube) and was hugely entertained by the randomness of events, the ridiculous machines and weapons and terrible plot lines. The suckiness is probably the best part about these cartoons but I guess you need a certain perspective to enjoy it..

I watched some G.I. Joe as a kid, but never got into it as much as I did with He-Man or Transformers. Earlier in the year when Jessica and I started watching classic '80s cartoons for comic inspiration, we were a little hesitant to watch G.I. Joe, since neither of us are into military-themed things. However, that cartoon was so fucking crazy, nonsensical, and delightfully stupid that it's now one of our favorite '80s cartoons.

[Rijst]

That reminds me that I never had a full set of action figures for a single brand. For instance, I had a few He-Man villains, but none of the main good guys, so I couldn't exactly act out a He-Man adventure. And I had maybe two of the ninja turtles, plus a couple of their villains. Which meant any Ninja Turtle plot I played out had to center around my two turtles on an unending quest to find their brothers. The really shitty thing is that it became impossible to find a "default" ninja turtle at any of the local stores. Instead, all I could find where those stupid gimmicky versions of the turtles like, Punk Rock Donatello, Cross Dresser Leonardo, or whatever. So If I wanted to finally get Rapeheal, I'd have to settle for some bullshit like, "Slam Dunk Raphael", and my plotlines would then be forced to revolve around Rapheal's unyielding desire to constantly play basketball. Fuck whatever marketing dude came up with those gimmicks.

So I was basically forced to utilize all my motley crew of toys into one crazy shared universe, where Optimist Prime and Hulk Hogan would team up to save my medieval Lego castle from the terror of Skeletor, Destro, and their army of Battle Beasts and MUSCLE figures. But I suppose that was as precursor to the kind of '80s hodgepodge I ended up doing with the comic.

At first I thought you'd made a spelling mistake, but Optimist Prime made me stop doubting your language skills.

My childhood revolved around Lego, full stop. I had boxes full of the stuff and was always building one thing or another. Medieval castles, pirate hideouts, space ships, you name it.

I watched some G.I. Joe as a kid, but never got into it as much as I did with He-Man or Transformers. Earlier in the year when Jessica and I started watching classic '80s cartoons for comic inspiration, we were a little hesitant to watch G.I. Joe, since neither of us are into military-themed things. However, that cartoon was so fucking crazy, nonsensical, and delightfully stupid that it's now one of our favorite '80s cartoons.

I only got into it when the movie came out. Your appraisal is spot on if you ask me, it's way out there. Was He-Man similar to GI Joe in that it was also just a long commercial for the action figures?

[Adam Dravian]

At first I thought you'd made a spelling mistake, but Optimist Prime made me stop doubting your language skills.

Hah, uh, yeah. And "Rapeheal" was totally intentional as well...

My childhood revolved around Lego, full stop. I had boxes full of the stuff and was always building one thing or another. Medieval castles, pirate hideouts, space ships, you name it.

Oh yeah, I loved Lego. But the sets were really expensive, so it was rare that I'd get one. I actually ended up using the "minifigs" more than I fucked around with the blocks. I was always more into acting out stories than building things.

I only got into it when the movie came out. Your appraisal is spot on if you ask me, it's way out there.

Are you talking about the recent live action movies? I havent' seen those as they look terrible. For some reason, I love a lot of terrible things from the 80s and even the 90s, but terrible post-2000 media just doesn't tickle me in the same way.

Was He-Man similar to GI Joe in that it was also just a long commercial for the action figures?

Oh yeah. In fact, I think He-Man might have been the first cartoon series made specifically to market and sell the related action figures. They didn't even attempt to draw the characters to not look like action figures. And since they only had one main body mold for male characters, everyone is just as buff as He-Man. It kind of renders He-Man less impressive when everyone from Man-At-Arms to King Randor and even He-Man's "wimpy" Prince Adam alter-ego is just as buff as the titular beefcake.

[Rijst]

At first I thought you'd made a spelling mistake, but Optimist Prime made me stop doubting your language skills.

Hah, uh, yeah. And "Rapeheal" was totally intentional as well...

Very smooth..

My childhood revolved around Lego, full stop. I had boxes full of the stuff and was always building one thing or another. Medieval castles, pirate hideouts, space ships, you name it.

Oh yeah, I loved Lego. But the sets were really expensive, so it was rare that I'd get one. I actually ended up using the "minifigs" more than I fucked around with the blocks. I was always more into acting out stories than building things.

I got one every now and then. Whenever I got money for my birthday I'd usually spend it on Lego too.

I only got into it when the movie came out. Your appraisal is spot on if you ask me, it's way out there.

Are you talking about the recent live action movies? I havent' seen those as they look terrible. For some reason, I love a lot of terrible things from the 80s and even the 90s, but terrible post-2000 media just doesn't tickle me in the same way.

Yeah those ones, well I've only seen the first one anyway. I file them under 'entertaining', nice action scenes, good effects but not much more than that. It did make me think back to the cartoons though, which make for better viewing somehow..

Was He-Man similar to GI Joe in that it was also just a long commercial for the action figures?

Oh yeah. In fact, I think He-Man might have been the first cartoon series made specifically to market and sell the related action figures. They didn't even attempt to draw the characters to not look like action figures. And since they only had one main body mold for male characters, everyone is just as buff as He-Man. It kind of renders He-Man less impressive when everyone from Man-At-Arms to King Randor and even He-Man's "wimpy" Prince Adam alter-ego is just as buff as the titular beefcake.

He-man was the inspiration for this? I guess it helps shape a youth cult around the toys, I'm sure it was successful as we're still talking about it today. Using the same body molds is just a cost-saving thing I think. Some of the later commercials in the series you posted seem to use slightly other shapes as well which was probably made possible by the success of the first lot.

I have to admit I spent my lunch break watching those commercials and I was impressed by the child acting. Kids are usually more shy when you visibly point a camera at their faces..

[Adam Dravian]

I got one every now and then. Whenever I got money for my birthday I'd usually spend it on Lego too.

Did you have a preferred Lego "theme"? I was mostly partial to the medieval sets. I always wanted one of the pirate sets, but I never got one. The "Town" sets seemed really boring to me.

The thing that kills me is that I used to act out Star Wars, Ninja Turtles, and Spider-Man stories with my Lego minifigs. Of course, the characters I had to use looked nothing like what I was pretending they were. But kids these days get officially licensed Legos for all those things! I would have sacrificed my own mother on a pentagram altar to have those Lego sets when I was a kid. These kids today don't know how fucking rad they have it.

I have to admit I spent my lunch break watching those commercials and I was impressed by the child acting. Kids are usually more shy when you visibly point a camera at their faces..

It was the '80s, so those kids were most likely coked out of their minds.

[Rijst]

I got one every now and then. Whenever I got money for my birthday I'd usually spend it on Lego too.

Did you have a preferred Lego "theme"? I was mostly partial to the medieval sets. I always wanted one of the pirate sets, but I never got one. The "Town" sets seemed really boring to me.

The thing that kills me is that I used to act out Star Wars, Ninja Turtles, and Spider-Man stories with my Lego minifigs. Of course, the characters I had to use looked nothing like what I was pretending they were. But kids these days get officially licensed Legos for all those things! I would have sacrificed my own mother on a pentagram altar to have those Lego sets when I was a kid. These kids today don't know how fucking rad they have it.

I mostly had medieval stuff too. I remember the first lego castle I got, my parents had spent night after night putting it together so they wouldn't let me take it apart at first. Then I put it together in half an afternoon and I guess they figured they'd found the right kind of toy for me. It was a really cool castle that could open up at the back etc. I had a few more later and had no problem combining them into a huge mega castle with a small town next to it. I still get tears in my eyes when I think of one.

The problem with these licensed sets is that they're just that, a copy of whatever film or series they depict. I'd rather have one generic set with lots of little pieces that let me make up my own story. I guess that's what drew me towards Lego in the first place.

I have to admit I spent my lunch break watching those commercials and I was impressed by the child acting. Kids are usually more shy when you visibly point a camera at their faces..

It was the '80s, so those kids were most likely coked out of their minds.

How very true. I'd like to think they just let them play out whatever they fancied for an hour first and then started filming. I guess the coke is a cheaper option haha.

[Adam Dravian]

The problem with these licensed sets is that they're just that, a copy of whatever film or series they depict. I'd rather have one generic set with lots of little pieces that let me make up my own story. I guess that's what drew me towards Lego in the first place.

That's because you're good, and you played with Lego the right way. But since I wasn't much of an architect and therefore hardly ever used the blocks to build things, Legos were kind of wasted on me. I still found them super appealing, though.

One of my favorite Lego minifigs was one that I put together to resemble Boba Fett from Star Wars. I think he had a green torso, gray legs, a gray motorcycle helmet with a black visor, and a scuba tank on his back to serve as his jet pack. One day I was happily playing with him when this asshole pet ferret my family had at the time bounded up to me, snatched Boba Fett out of my hand, and bounded away before I could catch him. I don't think I ever saw that Boba Fett again.

Oh, and when I was in middle-school, my friends and I started using my Lego minifigs to make short stop-motion movies: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngypLZ3jVmg

[Rijst]

I

That's because you're good, and you played with Lego the right way.

My mother said it was because I had a lot of imagination. Considering the website I'm posting this on, that's clearly rubbish..

Hey, look at my shirt! It's got no back!

I wish my stories were like this. I guess I was much too serious for this. How old were you guys here?

Was that your face or your friend's? Somehow I expected you to be bald in the video as well..

[Adam Dravian]

I wish my stories were like this. I guess I was much too serious for this.

No, don't wish that. That movie is painfully idiotic. Of course, we thought it was the funniest thing in the world when we made it.

How old were you guys here?

It was the summer of '95, so I must've been 14. My friend Bob would have been 13.

Was that your face or your friend's? Somehow I expected you to be bald in the video as well..

That was Bob. He mostly made that movie himself. I just kind of had a cameo as the voice of Satan (of course) the Grim Reaper, and, uh, Dale.

You know what I looked like as a youngling, Rijst. You saw me kick all kinds of ass in Mega City Dragons. My head was chock full of luscious brown curls.